


silenced

by ensembledesétoiles (Tsundeyama)



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Hikaru Is The Best Brother, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kaoru Is The Responsible One, Love Confessions, Sleepovers, Underage Drinking, comfort kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsundeyama/pseuds/ensembledes%C3%A9toiles
Summary: you are the cutest little thing, even with the hood of his sweater over your head and smudges of makeup under your eyes. especially with those in fact.you look in his eyes with a drunken giggle, a sound he never heard when you were sober. he never really heard anything from you when you were sober if he was to be honest. you were usually quiet, never laughing or crying or getting upset and when you spoke it was to say something relevant, with purpose, and even then, your voice was soft and tempered. maybe it is the reason he loves seeing you on the occasional parties : he liked the way your laugh resonated, he loved hearing you speak up about the thing you were interested in, the way you looked at him when you realized he was the only person actually listening to you, interested in what you were saying and each time you smiled so bright he felt himself fall a little more in love with you.
Relationships: Hitachiin Hikaru & Hitachiin Kaoru, Hitachiin Kaoru/Reader
Kudos: 49





	silenced

**Author's Note:**

> this is 100% a vent fic, i was tired and just needed to complain somewhere.

kaoru opens the front door to his house, sighing at the sight of you giggling and leaning on his brother —or maybe hikaru is the one leaning on you. the both of you are equally wasted right now, so much that no one would believe you to be coming from two of the most wealthiest families in the world.

contrary to his twin brother, kaoru knows his limits and he actually respects them, not at all attracted to the feeling of loosing all control, and scared of the prospect of waking up hungover tomorrow.

you three make your way inside the empty hall, all staff already gone home for the day (hopefully) and their parents on an business trip somewhere else on the globe ; their little sister staying at their grandmother’s.

in a fit of laughter, you struggle to walk up the stairs, nearly collapsing on the floor, weakly holding onto the railway. as the good friend he is (though he would love to be more than just that), the red head plops down on the stairs below, takes off your high heels — you’re going to kill yourself trying to walk in these in your state, and tears you away from both the railway and his brother.

**« come on, i’ll help you up. »**

**« what about me then ? »** _whined his twin brother, flashing a grin._

**« fend for yourself, you shouldn’t have drank that much. it’s on you. »**

he doesn’t mean it harshly, hikaru is his whole life, his other half, and truth be told, the only reason he said so was to hear your soft laughter by his ear as he wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close to him, careful not to loose his balance and make you both fall.

**« i’ll come back for you in a minute, hikaru. »**

**« i’m fine, take care of the princess. »**

and you laugh sweetly upon hearing the nickname he has for you (and also all the girls coming to the host club. he means it with you though, you are their only real princess — you and haruhi, obviously, even if she would shriek in disgust upon hearing that).

you find yourself upstairs in no time, in between the twins now that hikaru managed to walk up the stairs and join you. he leans against the door to his room, and gesture towards the two of you dismissively.

**« i’ll leave you to share kaoru’s bed, just this once. i’ll see you tomorrow, [your name] »** _he opens the door._ **« god, it’s been so long since i actually slept in my room. »**

the boy mumbles. at the twins age, they are still sleeping together. that’s how much they love and need each other. how restless and uneasy they feel when the other is not around.

kaoru frowns, looks at his brother with a distressed expression, hikaru grins at his brother.

**« hikaru we can’t … i’ll sleep with you okay ? and [your name], you’ll take my bed. »**

**« whatever works with you boys… i’ll could sleep on the floor to be honest. »** _you yawn loudly and most disgracefully_ **« i’ll go and wash my face, keep arguing or i don’t know. »**

hikaru tells you to head straight to his twin’s room afterward, that you’ll find something to wear as pajamas in his closet, _make yourself at home babe._

once you’re out of sight, kaoru freaks out in his brother’s face.

**« what the actual fuck, hikaru ? »**

**« you’ll thank me later. dude, come on, you’ve been crushing on her for literal years. »**

**« yes, and i’m certainly not gonna say or do anything now because she is drunk. »** _hikaru just laughs, and shakes his head — bad idea, everything is spinning._

**« not as drunk as you think. she’ll come up all clear minded and you’ll see for yourself. also i’m not telling you to act on the spot but you know… i’m not going to let you in my room anyway. »**

he indeed stayed on his positions and no matter how much kaoru argued, the boy slammed the door in his twin’s face.

when kaoru joined you in the room, you were already in bed, your phone plugged to the power outlet near the bed. you look adorable, scrolling through your social media timelines.

he plops in bed next to you and you immediately let go of your device, turning to him with a smile — the room isn’t spinning anymore, you had less to drink than hikaru and the cold water on your face, helped you come down big time.

**« cute. »**

kaoru smiles at you. he didn’t really mean to say that, but it escaped his lips anyway because it’s the truth. you are the cutest little thing, even with the hood of his sweater over your head and smudges of makeup under your eyes. especially with those in fact.

you look in his eyes with a drunken giggle, a sound he never heard when you were sober. he never really heard anything from you when you were sober if he was to be honest. you were usually quiet, never laughing or crying or getting upset and when you spoke it was to say something relevant, with purpose, and even then, your voice was soft and tempered. maybe it is the reason he loves seeing you on the occasional parties : he liked the way your laugh resonated, he loved hearing you speak up about the thing you were interested in, the way you looked at him when you realized he was the only person actually listening to you, interested in what you were saying and each time you smiled so bright he felt himself fall a little more in love with you.

**« how come you’re not laughing like this more often ? »**

**« i just don’t have much to laugh about. and i don’t want to bother anyone by being loud or anything so i prefer staying quiet. »**

even now, your voice is barely a whisper as you snuggle under the covers to keep warm. the excitement of the party died down and you’re left tired — he is, too, but you don’t want to sleep just yet, you’d rather talk to each other. you don’t often have the occasion of being alone together.

**« but you’re not bothering anyone. »** _a frown on his face as he doesn’t understand._ **« why would you even think that ? i love hearing you laugh. »**

**« oh but i am. maybe i’m not bothering _you_ , but every time i laugh at home, i am told to keep quiet. » ** _there’s still a faint smile on your features though, because you love how he is listening._ **« sometimes they say that i don’t talk enough and that i am not interesting but when i do, they either tell me to stop because i am annoying, or just don’t listen. it’s easier to pretend i don’t have anything to say than feel not listened too. »**

you’re so used to people not listening that you are amazed at how kaoru is always hanging to your lips whenever your speaking, will it be when you’re drunk or ranting about stuff you’re sure he isn’t interesting in, or even now as you’re complaining.

**« i’m sorry to hear that… i can’t even imagine how you must feel. »**

**« most of the time ? like crying. but you get used to the feeling and at some point it gets easier to pretend like you’re okay as you choke back the tears. »**

another laugh escape your lips, except that your voice is a broken sound now as you can’t seem to hold back the tears this time. you close your eyes and try to force them back in. you don’t want kaoru to see you like this.

**« i’m sorry, i guess it gets hard when you’re so sweet. i’m not used to anyone really listening so —»**

**« you don’t have to pretend, not with me. i won’t get upset because you cry, you shouldn’t have to hold back on your feelings like that. »**

because it’s not healthy, because sometimes you need to let the negative emotions out so you can feel lighter and better and he hates your family for keeping you from expressing yourself. for guilting you into thinking that you were nothing more than a doll and that you had to stay perfect and still.

**« come here. »** _he opens up his arms, inviting you to snuggle close to him._ **« you can cry if you want. »**

that’s what you do. you don’t know how long you sob quietly in his chest but kaoru makes no move to distance himself and keeps petting your head and your back, soothing you into calming down.

when the stream of your tears die down, you don’t move away from your spot in kaoru’s arms. you, instead, snuggle even closer, nuzzling your swollen face against his neck.

**« i must look like a mess, »** _you sniffle._ **« don’t look at me. »**

your lips feather his skin and send a funny feeling down his spine. he holds you tighter, and laughs softly.

**« i couldn’t even if i wanted. you’re _very_ close. »**

you are indeed. you pull on the strings of your hood, making it tighter around your head in an attempt to hide parts of your face.

**« you’re seriously so cute… »** _kaoru mumbles._

**« i must look like an egg, kaoru. »** _once again, you giggle._

**« yeah, well, if you were an egg, i would have eaten you right now. »**

he feels very stupid for having said that, and it sends the both of you blushing, but you really look edible right now, with your cute face and your rosy lips and no makeup and just _you_. you look up at him and he does his best to avoid your gaze.

**« don’t look at me »** _he says._

**« well, you _are_ very close, i don’t think i could look at anything else even if i wanted. » ** _he finally looks at you._ **« should i give you some space ? »**

you could. it’s not cold and you don’t need his reassurance anymore. he calmed you down enough and you would have scooted away already if it weren’t for the fact that you find yourself at ease in his arms.

**« that would be a great idea, otherwise i might actually eat you. »**

of course, you understand that he means he could _kiss_ you — though you don’t actually understand why he would do so. does he really think you so cute and interesting ? (yes he does, so much more than you can imagine)

you fidget nervously against him, your hands awkwardly tugging at his shirt.

**« i guess, i wouldn’t mind that. »**

and kaoru doesn’t need you to tell him twice. he gently puts a hand on your neck, cup your cheek with the other and smoothly bends down to place his lips on top of yours. your eyes close shut as you allow your hands to relax against his chest, appreciating the softness of his lips and the sweet taste of his kiss.

you open your eyes after pulling away, looking at him with rosy cheeks and a content bashful smile on your face. he smiles back at you, holds your hand in his, pull your knuckles to his lips and the sweetness of the gesture leaves you giggling.

**« i hope that was enough to show you how i feel. »** _he doesn’t really want to actually say it — he wants to wait for a better mood, for when he’ll be sure you’ll say it back and mean it._ **« and i also hope that you know i’ll always be there to listen to you, i would love to be here for you when you need me, if you’d let me. »**

he is too sweet, and you feel yourself soften. you snuggle a little more against him, mumbling a small _« yes »_ when he wraps his arms around your waist.

kaoru lays his head on top of yours, closes his eyes and you understand that it’s enough for him. that he is tired and wants to sleep now. you close your eyes in turn, hugging him back. forever grateful.


End file.
